


The Worst of the Worst

by M7_97



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Horribly Butchered Attempted Sexual Tension, Hurt/Comfort later on, Kellogg has anxiety problems, Learn to Trust Again, Mutual Pining, References to Alcohol Abuse, Self-Hatred, Suppressed Feelings, Swearing, Touch-Starved, Trust Issues, Voice Kink, how young and inexperienced would I sound, if I asked if getting black-out drunk one night was alcohol abuse?, is its still considered f/m if the guy is a cyborg?, just black-out drunk, not emergency room drunk, probably, the poor baby :(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-05 18:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10314077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M7_97/pseuds/M7_97
Summary: He's a broken rundown mercenary that taught himself to never love again. She's a broken ex-housewife who's life is falling apart in front of her. She hates him because he created all of her problems... or is it because she finds him kinda hot?





	1. Chapter 1

**Kellogg**

Kellogg dropped his bag to the floor of the small shack, dust rising up all around them. A rad storm had formed and Kellogg had tried to warn the vault-dweller but she had brushed him off like he was speaking complete gibberish to her. To be fair she had been frozen for 200 years so she had probably never seen a rad storm before but it still pissed him off that she pretended he hadn't said anything. She completely ignored him. He understood, he did! She was pissed. He was pissed too when that bastard raider group had kidnapped Mary and murdered Sarah in cold blood. He had killed every last one of those raiders. Nora though... well... Nora didn't have a choice. She had to work with him. Director's orders. He knew she didn't like having him around, though.

**Nora**

Nora groaned as she dropped her own bag on to the floor. She crossed her arms letting out a huff as she collapsed on to a nearby bed. After the glowing green clouds had gotten a little too close for comfort Kellogg had tugged on her arm and pointed to a nearby sturdy-enough looking shelter stating that although he was a cyborg and just barely human he still took radiation damage if presented with it. Nora let her eyes fall shut as she ran a hand through her hair. Stress came off of her in waves. She threw an arm over her face, the other one pointing out and dangling off the edge.

She could feel her life spinning out of control before her. It almost felt as if Shaun was in control of her life at this point, not that he wasn't already the moment she had woken up 60 years after he was kidnapped. _If only I knew then what I know now._ She let out a sigh and rubbed her eyes. They were sore. Just like the rest of her. Sore and tired and if she was being honest she just wanted to give up. Not give up on Shaun, or the Commonwealth, or even this horrible new world that she was forced to live in, to just give up in general. On everyone and everything. She wanted to just stop. But she knew she couldn't. She was already in too deep. In too deep with the Institute, with Shaun, with the Minutemen, and Preston, and... and with Kellogg.

She hated him, she hated him so much. She hated being forced to run ops with him even more. Shaun said it was for efficiency, for safety, and in case one of their relay chips failed, there was a backup. Nora just thought Shaun wanted to torture her. He knew how uncomfortable she was around the man who killed his father and his reasoning behind why he was fine with it was "He wasn't kidnapping me, he was saving me." Nora honestly wasn't entirely sure that the Shaun she was presented with now was her Shaun. The Shaun she had given birth to oh-so-many years ago. She'd like to think he would have been better than this Shaun. But she knew that it was the Shaun from way back then. He was, in fact, her son. The story added up, Kellogg-- although she didn't trust the mercenary one bit --seconded the story and she almost felt like she could believe him seeing as he was there for it. Genetic tests also proved that he was her son. He was her son. She just didn't feel like his mother.

Back to Kellogg, she hated him and made no secret of it, especially in front of him. He challenged her, made her think, and the worst of it all, he seemed to understand in some unspoken way how she felt. He knew she was uncomfortable around him and right from day one of being forced to work together had told her they didn't need to be friends and that they just had to work together. He said it in a very rude yet standoffish sort of way and although Nora hated to admit it, it sort of made her insides twist into a confusing mess like the way she had felt around Nate before... well... before.

"I, uh," Kellogg said rubbing the back of his neck, Nora could just barely see him from under her arm, "Well, I can take the first watch... if you want."

"No," she said sitting up suddenly, she had to force herself to do it, she was in all truth exhausted, "I can do it. I'll be fine." she said, her face betraying nothing although it was clear that there was a large amount of strain and force in her voice.

"No, no, really, I insist. You... you look tired." he said mimicking her and showing no emotion.

She studied him for a second with pursed lips and he felt incredibly vulnerable, like she was a deathclaw and he was a raider. A weak one at that. One that acted like all that but really, was very very scared inside. He looked... kind of cute as he avoided her gaze if she was being honest. He was the only human, not ghoul, human, that she had ever met that was as old as she was... or at least close enough anyways. Sure, it was because of all of those cybernetic implants of his he had, but he was still a person. Still a human beneath his cool smooth-voiced sweet talking exterior. He was incredibly attractive for his age, as much as she hated herself for realizing it. No, he was definitely not a bad looking guy. She had dreamt about him on more than one occasion.

"Okay." she said suddenly.

His brows shot up and his eyes darted back to her quickly, taken aback.  _Habits like that could get you killed in the Commonwealth, Connie._

"Kay." he said sucking in his cheeks, his nerves flooding through his usually silky-smooth voice, "I'll, uh, I'll get on it then." he said seemingly holding back a sarcastic comment. _How gentleman-y._ Nora thought.

He kind of just stood there for a few seconds staring at her before quickly looking around and grabbing a mostly intact blue-green plastic chair. He dragged it over to the door, settling down looking just as lost as he had before. He unholstered his revolver letting it rest against his inner right thigh between his legs. A position he usually sat in that Nora found oh-so distracting. He rolled his neck back and forth, he was just as sore as she was and was trying to pretend he didn't see her staring at him out of the corner of his eye, her eyes burning against his entire right side. He could almost feel it as her eyes wandered down from his face to his neck, then his chest, then... lower regions... back up again. He was... confused. Was she sizing him up in case he turned on her? Had she taken a sudden interest in him? Did he look as ridiculous to her as he felt right now? Why was she staring at him? He felt his insides twist as the second thought repeated in his mind.  _Why is she staring at me?_

**. . .**

**Nora**

"Close your eyes." Nora said making Kellogg jump slightly. He had been doing that a lot lately.

Kellogg muttered something inaudible under his breath but did as he was told. Nora stripped from her armor, each piece falling to the dusty wooden floor below them with a thud. Then she began to strip from her vault suit. She could've sworn she heard Kellogg's breath hitch as he perked up a little before freezing in place. He was so still she was kind of concerned as to whether or not he was even breathing. She quickly stripped out of the suit and into a pair of blue and white plaid pajama pants and a burgundy oversized t-shirt in case he wasn't.

"You can look now." she said with no emotion as she adjusted the pajama pants to a more comfortable position.

She watched as he relaxed and sighed while rolling her eyes. She crawled on to the bed making a low noise in her throat at the uncomfortable well-past-warranty condition of the mattress. She attempted to get comfortable and eventually settled on laying on her side facing away from Kellogg and towards the wall. It wasn't particularly comfy but it was more comfortable than any of the other positions she had tried so she stuck with it. She almost sort of hugged herself as she wrapped her arms around her chest. She was cold. Great. She didn't even understand how. The air burned against her skin from the rads seeping through the cracks in the walls but she was still somehow cold. Damn Kellogg and his ability to know about things before they happened.

Before they had left the Institute for the op they were currently working on, Kellogg had told her to bring a blanket. He had said that ops such as the one they were assigned to always took longer than they were supposed to. She had snapped at him in response. She believed her exact words were, "This isn't my first rodeo, dipshit. I know what I'm doing. I also know that I'm not gonna need a blanket." he had let out a frustrated sigh and wandered off for a while before returning once more. He hadn't even uttered a single word before she had said "Don't you have anyone better to bother,  _Connie?_ " she had spat his nickname in which he looked at her, closed his eyes as he inhaled sharply, turned on his heel and walked right back out the door. Not coming back until they had to walk to the relay together.

She felt kind of bad about it thinking back on it. She usually had a rude tone when talking to him but she felt like she had gone too far that time. She wasn't entirely sure why, she just knew that it didn't sit well in her stomach when she thought about the way she had said it and how he didn't even hesitate (except to take a deep breath, probably to calm himself down before he did something he regretted) before turning around and walking out.

Eventually, when she was about half out of it, a shiver went up her spine and a few moments and approaching footsteps later, she felt a blanket be laid over her. It smelled of cigars, whiskey, and some other scent she couldn't quite place but very much liked. She snuggled into it almost immediately on instinct, grateful for the source of warmth. Although she was half awake and her eyes were closed she felt as though she owed Kellogg a thank you at the very least. For a lot of things, of course but in his eyes he'd see it as her thanking him for the blanket.

"Kellogg?" she said sleepily, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Yeah?" the mercenary responded.

He was closer than she had thought but it made her feel warm inside.

"Than--" she let out a small yawn, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it, kid. Just remember, I'm gonna wake you up in a few hours so you should probably get some sleep while you can." he responded.

She let out a small groan of protest. Whether it was because of the idea of waking up in a few hours probably feeling more tired then than she did now or because he called her kid despite the fact that she was older than him by at least 50 years, she made no attempt to move or speak up besides the small groan that had left her mouth. Her muscles ached too much, her brain was begging her to give in to sleep, and the blanket she was underneath was far too intoxicating like its owner for her to be able to properly form a response anyway. She instead gave into what her body wanted.

**. . .**

**Nora** **  
**

Nora's eyes fluttered open, peering up at an unfamiliar ceiling.The scent of cigars, whiskey, and something else filled her nostrils. She groaned as she ran a hand over her face and yesterday's events came crashing back to her. She had been stubborn enough to ignore Kellogg's warnings of an incoming rad storm and because of this they had ended up stuck in a barely sturdy shack. Wait... she paused, narrowing her eyes at the ceiling. She quickly turned on her side to see Kellogg still staring at the door while rocking his heels up and down silently. He seemed... nervous. Like he was awaiting something inevitable and not something good. He looked back towards her and... was he blushing? He quickly looked away, his face flushed slightly.

"Morning." he grunted, his voice not portraying at all what his face did.

The rocking of his feet stopped. Maybe he was embarrassed about a nervous habit? He looked back over to her as she let out a long yawn, stretching her arms upwards revealing part of her stomach as her shirt lifted involuntarily. He let out another low grunt as his eyes moved away from her once more. Then something hit her. He said he'd take first watch but she couldn't remember being woken up at all last night, let alone sitting and staring at the door for several hours before eventually swapping out with him again. Had he been up all night? Nora's heart fluttered at the thought that maybe... just maybe there was a heart in that metal clad chest of his after all.

"Did you... did you sleep at all last night?" she asked curiously as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes.

"I almost drifted off a few times, if that's what you're asking. But as far as for real sleep? No."

"Aren't you tired?"

Kellogg contempelated this for a moment. Tired? Yes. Would sleep fix it? No.

"I'm... not sure how to answer that."

Nora cocked an eyebrow at this as she slowly rose to her feet. Her legs felt shaky as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes before making her way over slowly to the door standing in front of him before pivoting her body to face him. She knelt down as he seemingly tried to avoid looking at her. Frowning she grabbed him by the chin forcing him to stare into her eyes. She could feel his breath hitch, this time. She chose to ignore it, instead frowning an even frownier-frown and furrowing her brow at him, releasing his chin after a short while.

**Kellogg**

He felt his breath go back to normal although his heart was still racing at the touch, a cold feeling biting at the skin where her fingers had met him. He felt his core tighten, holding back a shiver. _Oh yes._ He was touch-starved. He had dark purplish circles under his eyes and although he didn't act the part, she knew he must have been exhausted. Still, she didn't mention it again and neither did he as they packed up and prepared to leave the small shack.

**. . .**

**Nora**

"The Commonwealth, throwing curveballs at every corner since 2077." Nora exhaled jokingly trying to break the awkward silence and emit a response from the slightly-younger-than-her-man behind her.

He didn't respond. Just gave her a blank tired rundown look when she looked back at him. She let out a small huff before turning the handle he noticed her fingers were so intricately wrapped around and opening the gates of hell once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you think I should continue this. I haven't written anything in a long time so I'm kind of worried that this is horrible. (My confidence is staggering, I know.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Kellogg**

It’d been at least six months since he had been assigned an op with someone else. He awoke with a groan, his eyes squinting towards the courser that stood inches away from where he had crashed on his couch. A partial bottle of whiskey was by the legs of the couch near his head. Speaking of his head, it was throbbing and spinning at the same time. He screwed his eyes closed once more for a few seconds. Maybe if he pretended he was asleep X6 would just go away. He had a hard time not snickering at the hopeless thought.

“Father wants a word with you.”

Apparently it didn’t work. _Of course it wouldn’t work._ He groaned as he rubbed at his eyes with one hand, the other dangling off the edge of the small couch that barely held him. He had gotten way too drunk last night, as he did most nights. He always regretted it in the morning but at the time, it felt better to be swimming and shaky on his legs than to be completely sober and deal with the memories of Sarah and Mary that randomly popped up in his mind. It had been nearly 75 years and he still missed them. Gosh, he was a sap.

“Sir?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it. Thanks.” He said grimacing as the cough syrup taste of the cheap century-old alcohol lingered on his tongue and warmed the back of his throat.

With that, the courser left him alone in his quarters. The day cycle’s light spilling through the open balcony in front of him burning as he attempted to adjust his eyes to the light. His legs were numb and tingly and his arms and back were sore like he had attempted to wrestle a behemoth without backup and magically had just barely won. He rubbed tiredly at his muscles trying to bring feeling back to them as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

He sat up and tried to focus his eyes while also trying to stop the world from spinning slowly in his vision. Once the world stopped visibly spinning he stood up, wobbly on his legs as he made his way over to bathroom. He turned on the faucet to the sink, staring in the mirror and letting out a frustrated grunt before looking away. He never could look in the mirror for too long. His reflection always bothered him. He always found one more thing that he didn’t like about himself if he looked at himself for more than a few seconds. He’d tear whatever confidence he had mustered for the day apart and it’d leave a heavy feeling in his stomach as he tried to convince himself to leave the bathroom and rejoin the crowd. Besides, he still had to go talk to Shaun.

He dipped his hands under the running water, letting it pool before splashing it in his face and turning the sink back off. He grabbed a nearby towel from a towel rack, wiping his face of any grime and dirt that might be left on it. This time he avoided looking in the mirror as he draped the towel back over the rod and wandered out of the bathroom to the mess hall to get some vitamin enhanced slop so he could start his day right. He snickered, _So I can start my day real nice like._

People seemed to swerve left and right leaving him a clear path to the Gen 2 behind the counter. He put in his request, grumbling something about having to pay when the Institute _needed_ him in tip top shape and that he was almost, if not, better than a courser. Collecting his food packet and tossing it on a silver tray he once again walked through the path people made trying to avoid him and sat down at one of the tables. He mixed the powder with a small canister of water he had gotten, stirring it until it looked like it was in-between a solid and a liquid, a sort of goopy texture that he had to gag down. Just as it said to on the instructions.

He narrowed his eyes, not looking up from the slop on his tray as a human shaped shadow engulfed him. No one ever sat with him here, they were too scared. He was as cold as a courser but 100% human. Aside from the cybernetic implants he had, of course. He considered himself human enough, though. So who was the brave fool who chose to sit across from him he wondered. He thought it would be rude to look up so he didn’t. Whether he intended to or not he always seemed to come off rudely to others. He also didn’t want to risk seeing his reflection in their eyes and deal with a rising pressure in his chest. It was like an elephant sitting on top of him. He hated that feeling.

“Hey Connie.”

He let out a groan as the familiar all-too-annoying Co-Director greeted him. He hadn’t spoken to her since their last op together and he was already tired of talking.

“Did X6 talk to you?”

“Yes. He said Shau- the Director wanted to talk to me. Hope ya don’t mind, decided to stop and get something to eat first.” he said, sarcasm lacing in his voice.

He didn’t care if she minded or not, he was hungry. At the very least he was going to enjoy a nice tray of goop before he headed up. He took a sip from the canister of water and his eyes lifted up from his dish to meet hers. He felt his heart sink. Had she… cut her hair? She usually had her long brown hair tied up in a pony tail with the sides shaved. Now though… now it was short. About ear’s length. He grunted looking away from her and back towards his tray. She looked like Sarah almost. He forced more spoonfuls of the disgusting gruel in his mouth with a hard swallow, finishing what was left on it.

“X6 came and woke me up too. I took a shower and headed up and apparently we’ve been assigned to a retrieval mission. Shaun, he uh, he wanted me to brief you because you hadn’t come up yet. So… whenever you feel ready we can leave. I recommend bringing more than you think you’ll need, these ops _always_ take longer than expected.” she said, a small smirk tweaking the corners of her mouth upwards as she repeated his words from a while back to him.

“Maybe tell yourself that.” he grunted as he stood up and grabbed his empty tray from the table.

**. . .**

**Kellogg**

They had been walking for a while, now. Silence had settled between the two. Neither of them were particularly uncomfortable, they just weren’t comfortable either. Nora whistled some pre-war tune as they walked and it helped him relax a little although he’d never say so to her face. Eventually his eyes widened and he slapped a hand over her mouth, forcing both of them to crouch down low behind a nearby car. Deathclaw. _It should be called the grim reaper. Reaperscythe._ He pressed his lips together, a line appearing across his forehead as he tried to think of how to approach the situation. That was, of course, until he felt teeth sink into his hand.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” he choked out in a loud shout turning to look at her and shaking his hand as he glared at the vault-dweller.

A smug look was on her face, but he didn’t have time to say anything else before a roar erupted behind him. His face went pale. So did hers. He turned nervously, knowing exactly what he would see when he did. The ugly scale-covered beast made primarily of horns and teeth awkwardly stepped towards them on its hind legs. Kellogg’s eyes were wide as he placed his hands between him and the deathclaw as though it would protect him or something. He slowly backed away, every nerve in his body screamed for him to run. Its eyes flashed with red and he watched it as it swiftly got on all fours and began to sprint towards him in one fluid movement.  He quickly turned to run, unholstering his revolver as he did so. He didn’t run far away, just far enough to duck behind the corner of a crumbling building without it seeing where he went.

He watched it carefully, a confused look on his face before he spotted Nora who had apparently fallen backwards on her ass in all the chaos. It stumbled in the direction opposite him towards the small vault-dweller. She slowly moved backwards, the sass, the cockiness… it was all gone and she… she looked terrified. It was… different… to say the least. Seeing her like this, seeing her vulnerable. He felt anger flare in the pit of his stomach as his grip tightened around the gun in his hands. He watched the beast in front of him and clenched his teeth together.

He was snapped from his thoughts as a bloodcurdling scream echoed through the ruins of downtown Boston. The beast let out a roar at this and Kellogg watched as Nora quickly covered her ears, a look of pain from the volume and from the wound the blood now soaking the leg of her vault suit caused crossed her face as she pressed her eyes closed. His mind remained thinking about the look on her face as he quickly stepped out from cover. He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he pulled his gun steadily and focused it on the back of the creature. He pulled the trigger.

“Yeah! What about that you ugly fuck? Not so fun, now. Is it?” he shouted watching it slowly turn around.

It let out a bloodcurdling screech as it stomped its feet and looked at him with wide eyes. He winced slightly at the volume but kept his eyes trained on the monster. Whatever fear he had felt was gone. He was pissed on a level he didn’t know was possible for him. He’d thought it tons of times but he repeated it in his mind once more. _It’s me against the world, and the world has it coming._ He reminded himself, confidence rising up in his chest as he emptied a round into the mess of horns and teeth in front of him.

It stomped angrily towards him one foot at a time. He felt a twinge of fear twist in his gut but pushed it deep down inside of himself as he clumsily loaded another round into the gun. His eyes constantly flicked from the gun to the beast in front of him. It didn’t even run towards him. It took its sweet time as if gloating. He would’ve laughed if he weren’t so damn scared on the inside while his inner monologue spoke for the deathclaw. _Yeah, fuck yeah, I’m the top of the food chain! ROAAAAAR ROAR motherfucker!_

Eventually the final bullet clicked into place and he wasted no time focusing and emptying that round into the creature as well. He did this a few more times, dashing here and there to avoid its blood-soaked claws. _That’s Nora’s blood…_ was all he could think. That one thought pissed him off for reasons unbeknownst to him even more than he was before. He felt his blood boil under his skin.

He was distracted for what must’ve been a few seconds at the most and suddenly it was on top of him. He grimaced as its drool spilled down on his face, claws holding him down by the shoulders as it screamed in his face and then— it stopped. It froze in place. Kellogg opened his eyes which he hadn’t even realized he’d screwed shut as he watched it stutter in place before falling limp on top of him. He wheezed at the added weight. It must’ve been a thousand pounds, at least. It was bigger than any deathclaw he’d ever seen before that was for damn sure. His eyes were pulled towards a blade in the back of its hide. _Injured and fallen and she still stole my glory._ He thought suppressing a chuckle.

“Hey, Nora, you still over there? Can you lend me a hand."

“Seems like I just did.” she replied, cocky as ever.

“Mind answering the question instead of making wisecracks at every corner?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“My leg-- it… FUCK!”

“What?”

“It’s fucked! It’s all busted up.”

It took Kellogg a while but he finally managed to lift the creature off of him using his legs and squirm out from under it. He stood up, dusting himself off as he started towards the vaultie who was holding tightly on to her leg a few feet away.

“Move your hands. How bad is it?” Kellogg asked, kneeling down and forcing her hands away to see four deep gashes on the front and one long one curling around the side.

He made no noise but in reality, he was disgusted. Her entire leg was blood, dirt, and ripped blue and yellow fabric. He took a look around sighing as if the sight didn’t bother him before speaking once more,

“We need to get to the police station. C’mon.”

Nora made no attempt to protest. Probably knowing she’d bleed out if they didn’t fix her leg soon but also knowing that they couldn’t do it here, out in the open. It would just attract more things that wanted to kill them. Not to mention the dangers of attempting to sterilize and fix such horrific wounds on such a dirty surface.

**Nora**

“Well?” she asked looking up at him.

He had stood up and was just staring at her expectantly at this point. It was kind of annoying. Was he going to help her up or not?

“Well what?” he asked, his caring act disappearing entirely behind the cold exterior she was used to seeing from him.

Nora quickly threw one of her hands up and out towards him. He narrowed his eyes at her before hesitantly reaching out, his hand about an inch above hers. She let out a huff, quickly grabbing onto it and pulling herself up, staggering him a bit. _Taken aback again I see, Connie._ She quickly wrapped one arm around his neck, bracing herself on him as she turned to face the direction he was. She could feel it as he tensed beneath her touch, uncertain where to put his hands.

She let out a small noise of amusement, “Hope ya don’t mind.” she said, repeating his words once more. They were laced with just as his had been sarcasm.

She didn’t care if he was okay with it just like he didn’t care when he was eating that goop she refused to eat down in the Institute. Well… she did care to an extent in this scenario. She didn’t want to make him incredibly uncomfortable, of course. She just couldn’t imagine any way she could possibly get to the police station on her own. She let out a sigh. He was acting like an inexperienced virgin having sex with a pornstar.

**. . .**

**Kellogg**

It took them about 20 minutes to get to the Police Station. They arrived without much conflict after the deathclaw. It made Kellogg uncomfortable how the streets were dead silent. It was eerie. He’d never experienced anything quite like it before. Usually there was screaming and sickening wet crunching noises and there was the quiet groaning and grunting of ferals or the growling of mongrels. It was basically silent besides the sound of wind going past their ears right now though. It creeped him out. It creeped him out a lot.

Kellogg lowered Nora slowly onto the marble steps. She fell the last inch or so with a grunt.

“I’m gonna go check the perimeter, give me a holler if you need anything.” he said distantly before wandering off.

Checking the perimeter of a location was usually a quick task. That’s what he had told himself anyways as he reflected on the fact that he had left an injured bleeding girl out in the open on the steps of the old police station. _No,_ she wasn’t a girl. She was a grown woman. A tough one at that. She had almost killed him when they had first met in Fort Hagen. She was more than capable of killing him now, honestly. If not for how tired she was of blood, she probably would have killed him.

All this thinking made it considerably harder to look for breaches and enemies that had wandered from their respective groups despite the lack of surface area to cover. His thoughts were keeping him from concentrating and for safety reasons he had to go over it several times more times than he would’ve liked to because of this. He still wasn't entirely sure that he hadn’t seen anything whether it be a small breach in defenses or a lone feral in the distance. He was sloppy with his work.

His mind kept wandering back to Nora. It should’ve been because she was hurt and in a way it sort of was. The picture of her helpless and vulnerable under the deathclaw’s grip kept flashing in his mind. Not for the right reasons though. The girl had the curves of a godess. Her mid blue eyes always stared expectantly at him, twinkling in the right light. They had flecks of amber and gold in them. Her short brown hair made his fingers twitch. He wanted to tug on it. He inhaled sharply at the thought of holding her hair out of her face as she-- No. He couldn’t think about her like this. He shouldn’t. He let out a small grunt to himself as he adjusted the waistband of his jeans to a more comfortable position. She was injured and he was getting a hard on. Nice.

After going over the defenses for what seemed like the 100th time he swooped back around towards Nora. She let out a scoff when he finally made his way towards her.

“Ya cover everything?” she said, sarcasm practically dripping from the words.

“Yeah.” he said, ignoring the unpleased look on her face.

“Okay, good. Took you long enough.” she said, the last part coming out in a murmur Kellogg was sure he wasn’t meant to hear. There was a pause and then, “We going inside or what?”

“Yeah.” he replied returning to her side.

He reached down and watched as her hand grabbed his and her arm went around the back of his neck once more. After they made their way up the stairs and into the police station with minimum struggle he grabbed a small chair and dragged it into the middle of the room. He set her down, gently, this time and dropped both of their bags. He began to rummage through and pulled out a couple of stimpaks, a bottle of vodka, and a small worn white t-shirt of his.

He bit the inside of his cheek as he eyed the wounds. Now that he was getting a closer look at them, his stomach really flipped. The blue material was stuck to the wounds and there was no way he’d be able to clean it and fix it up if she didn’t take it off. The whole idea made him slightly uncomfortable. She already hated him and here he was and he had to ask her to strip down to her underwear so he could clean and bandage a few gashes on her leg.

“You might wanna… uh… ya know…” he said gesturing to her clothes.

She tilted her head in confusion.

He let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t get to the wounds if you’re wearing your suit. Besides, I have a feeling there’s more than four of those gashes. You were underneath a deathclaw.”

“Oh.” she said.

Her fingers went up to the straps of her chest piece undoing them with ease. She lifted it over her head and set it on the ground before undoing each of the pieces covering her limbs. Kellogg pulled a small end table over and dropped what he had pulled from his pack on to it. He pulled off his gloves, throwing them on the floor nearby. Once she had stripped down and he no longer had to pretend like he wasn’t looking he crouched down in-between her legs. She looked down at him with a smirk and wiggled her brows. Kellogg pretended he didn’t see this.

“It doesn’t look like I have too many bad wounds. At least to me, it doesn’t. I don’t know… do you see any that I don’t?” she asked much more seriously.

Kellogg shook his head hesitantly. _Concentrate._ His baser urges were leaving him distracted. He turned the chair around unexpectedly eliciting a squeak and then a giggle from her. She seemed mostly fine. A few cuts and bruises here and there, but she was fine. Besides, of course, her leg. He spun the chair back around.

“You seem fine besides the bloody massacre that’s your leg.” he said, distant as ever.

“Well, you better get on with it then.” she said equally as distant.

“Alright vaultie. You’re gonna regret being so eager in a few seconds.” he said.

“Why?” she asked narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

“Cause. This is gonna hurt like hell.” he said seriously standing up and grabbing the bottle of vodka, unscrewing the top.

He got down on one knee, pausing as he eyed the nasty looking gashes.

“Count to three for me.”

She stared at him for a moment before doing what he asked.

“One, two, thr- FUUUU-CK!” she grabbed his head, nails scraping against both sides as he poured the vodka over her hurt leg.

He stopped after pouring what he thought was enough to clean the wound. Her death grip loosened but didn’t let go entirely. He smirked to himself as he set the bottle down on the floor. He grabbed the stimpaks and injected them both waiting until he saw the muscle begin to entwine itself back together. He was about to grab the shirt but the skin didn’t mend. He frowned. Nora saw this and tapped the side of his head with her figners. He looked up at her through his lashes. This working with the sight of him on his knees in between her legs caused Nora to stutter as she spoke,

“What- What’s the problem?”

“Hm?”

“You're frowning." she stated plainly.

“The muscle is healed but there’s still clearly busted skin. I think it’s gonna need stitches.”

“Yay,” she said unenthusiastically waving her hands in the air before returning them to their place on either side of his head. “More pain.”

He snickered, “Don’t worry, I’ve got some Med-X this time.” he said and began rummaging through his bag again before pulling out a syringe filled with the sparkling purple liquid along with some fishing line and a needle.

He looped the fishing twine inside the hole in the needle and tied it there.

“That’s sterile, right?”

He scoffed and looked up at her rolling his eyes.

“No, thought I’d give you an infection or a contagious disease of some sort. That’s why I just wasted half a bottle of that disgusting hand-sanitizer tasting garbage on your leg. That and because I get off to you clawing at my head and leaving scratch marks like a feral.” he said sarcastically. He was suddenly very sick of her shit.

When she didn’t respond he looked up to see shy eyes and a closed mouth. He had actually silenced her for once. No wisecracks, no dumb jokes, she was silent. Kellogg felt something heavy land in the pit of his stomach. Although it helped him to concentrate her being silent and all, it also made him uncomfortable to see her so shy and quiet. She seemed… hurt… almost. Like a kicked puppy or something.

He stabbed the Med-X into her leg near the wound and began to stitch up her leg. After a while of doing that he grabbed blindly for the t-shirt he had taken out earlier a tore it into one very long makeshift bandage. He wrapped her leg loosely before tying it into place and standing up. He threw the used needles into the garbage and screwed the cap back on the bottle of vodka before tucking it away in his bag once more.

He stood up and slung the bag over his shoulder before speaking, “You can get dressed now. I’m finished.” he said with his back towards the girl as he began to walk towards the room that he had spotted beds in.

He heard the chair creak as her weight was lifted from it so he continued,

“Don’t wear anything too tight or it’ll undo the stitching.”

When he got no response besides the faint ruffling of her own bag and the items inside he continued on towards the other room.

“Kellogg…” she said, her voice seemed so tiny and quiet yet fierce and strong at the same time somehow,

“What?” he asked switching the arm his bag was slung over.

“I’m sorry.”

He froze slightly from a mix of confusion, worry, uncomfortableness, and a general belief that he hadn't heard her correctly. He waited for her to elaborate and when she didn’t, he took it as his cue to speak up instead.

“You know I wasn’t serious, right? I mean, the anger was real but I don’t intend on giving you infections or diseases or whatever through unsterile objects.” he said, hoping she wouldn’t bring up the whole I-get-off-to-you-clawing-at-my-head thing.

Of course she did, though.

“I know. Does that mean you get off to the idea of me scratching at the sides of your head though?” she asked, a hint of amusement returning to her voice.

He smiled a stupid faint smile for a moment and let his eyes close as he inhaled softly.

“What do you think?” he said seriously as the smile dropped. Part of his act, of course.

“I think you do.” she said playful excitement rising in the words as she said them.

“You wish. Anyways, you want me to take the first watch? You are crippled and all.” he risked a glance behind him at her, barely able to crane his neck enough to see her lit up grin.

“Is you taking first watch gonna be the same as it was six months ago?” she asked. She sounded kind of annoyed but there was also something else hidden in her tone. Maybe happiness? It was definitely a familiar undertone but he still wasn't entirely sure what it was.

He turned around to face her and any internal tension he had had quickly dissipated when he saw that she had already thrown on some loose gray sweatpants and a long sleeved silky looking white shirt.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Promise me it won’t and I might say yes.”

“Promise you?” he asked bewildered.

“Yes. Promise me. Pinky promise.” she said so seriously he had to fight back a laugh despite not knowing what a pinky promise was.

“Pinky promise? What’s that?” he asked as a confused look flashed over his face before it went back to its cool neutral expression.

Her jaw dropped slightly in awe that he had never heard of this unknown form of promising before.

“If I show you you’re gonna wake me up in a few hours, right?” she asked.

He nodded, more interested in what this mysterious pinky promise was then about the agreement itself.

She walked… er… limped slowly, almost timidly towards him and nervously took grasp of his left hand. He shook internally at the cold gentle grasp she had on him. The radiation seemed to have barely even touched her as her ice-cold fingers unwound his pinky from the rest. Holding his hand in her right one she uncoiled her left pinky and bent it around his. She looked up at him, every nerve in her body visible and sparking in her eyes and spoke,

“Pinky promise.” she waited, gazing up at him through her lashes and he suddenly felt incredibly self conscious. She swallowed nervously, “Now you say it.” she spoke, her voice almost came out in a rasp.

“Pinky promise.” he replied staring back into her eyes.

He felt a small amount of heat begin to radiate off of her as she unhooked their fingers and grabbed her bag, she almost fell over as she did so.

“Here.” he said reaching out a hand, “I’ll carry it for you. No use putting any more pressure on your leg than necessary.”

She hesitantly handed it to him, the strap falling over her fingertips and into his hand. His hand fell a bit with it at first, unused to the the second much heavier weight. He slung it over his other shoulder as they wandered into the next room.

**. . .**

**Kellogg**

Kellogg had helped the girl settle down and dropped her bag next to her bed. She had uttered a soft barely audible ‘goodnight’ to him as she buried herself deeper under the blankets, her injured leg out from under them and propped up on a few pillows. He had grunted in response to her goodnight as he usually did before wandering back out to the entrance to lock the door. After doing so, his own bag still slung over his shoulder, he wandered until he found the staircase that led to the roof which he proceeded to climb up. He grabbed a nearby white and green striped lawn chair and sat down while looking over the small bit of the Commonwealth he could see from up there for a bit before opening his bag and grabbing the half empty bottle of vodka from it.

Kellogg sighed through his nose. His eyes burned as they fluttered shut for a small while and all he could wonder was what Nora’s reaction might be if he didn’t make good on his promise and let her sleep the whole night through like he did 6 months ago. He took a swig from the bottle of vodka he had in hand, sloshing it around a bit in his mouth before swallowing the bitter disgusting liquid that burned his throat. He set it down, the glass clinking against the concrete and pondered her possible reactions. It’d probably be something rude or sarcastic like it normally was. Maybe she’d tell Father when they got back to the Institute and Father would act disappointed in Kellogg in front of her but once she left he’d roll his eyes at her overreaction and tell the mercenary he did the right thing.

Kellogg thought back on all the events that had occurred throughout the day. Her very up close and personal experience with a deathclaw, how although he was trying to save her life she sort of ended up saving his, how she had grabbed his hand taking him off guard and used him as support as they made their way back to the police station not even asking first, the anger he had exerted towards her while preparing to stitch her leg up, their sort of kiss-and-make-up session that just recently had happened. He felt his stomach twist as his mind replayed the words kiss and make up. And then, his mind just replayed the word kiss. He pressed his lips together to form a straight line. He wanted to kiss her-- no, he _needed_ to kiss her. No wait-- that was the alcohol talking. He sighed as a huge weight he hadn’t realized had worked itself up there was lifted from his chest and he took one last deep breath. It was the alcohol talking. He knew it was. His brain was moving at a hundred miles per hour. It was the alcohol. He had been fine a few seconds ago and now he was calming himself down because his anxiety had started to act up and his brain had started to make sense in the funny way where it didn't actually make sense to anyone besides himself.

Still yet, he couldn’t shake the idea of how her soft lips might feel against his chapped ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, decent sized chapter, right? I sort of feel like Kellogg was ooc at times and I couldn't really picture him saying certain things that he does in this chapter but I don't know. I also feel like the story is moving to fast as this is chapter 2 and Kellogg is already sort of beginning to like Nora even though in canon he states something very similar to "I wasn't going to get mixed up in caring about people again". I guess... tell me what you guys think. I really appreciate feedback whether it's good or bad. I prefer good feedback, of course, but bad feedback helps me grow in my writing and (usually) points out what I need to work on.


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